Let’s get this diet show on the road
Taking ownership, let’s hope I rise and don’t fall flat on my face
I never thought I’d be the person writing about dieting and, or weight loss. Not here and certainly not today but, if not now I know I never will. So, here I am, Elyse aged thirty-seven writing to you right at the start of my wellness and weight loss journey and that excites me and terrifies me.
Background
I grew up in a household with a mum who was fat-phobic. Growing up in the forties and fifties, body image was paramount to being successful at gaining a good career and husband. Net curtains would twitch and people would talk if any female put on so much as a few pounds and, unfortunately, my mum (bless her soul) never shook that mentality, putting her worth into her clothing size at times, at the detriment to her own health. The woman was literally terrified of potatoes — apparently, they make you fat.
That mentality was all I knew growing up. My mum highlighted the negative aspects of being ‘fat’ and unattractive whenever she could. It led to a lifetime of negative body image issues that even to this day I simply cannot shake. But, these days, my health is more important than my clothing size.
Having had chronic health issues and working my butt off to resolve them into a somewhat normal life, I find myself now at my heaviest and, while that terrifies me, it also leaves me feeling super disheartened. Especially as the health conditions that I worked my ass off putting into remission are returning and, I feel ill now most days. This isn’t fair on my sons. This isn’t fair on my husband and it isn’t fair on me. My sons are teens now but I improved my health before for them, so I can do it again otherwise I can see myself in five years being grossly overweight and with a poor quality of life to boot.
I simply do not want that.
So I come to you today 2 stone over my upper normal BMI. As a 5ft 2' woman who wants to reclaim her happiness, health, and future. I plan to write regular articles updating you on the progress and ultimately keeping it very ‘real’ I won’t make excuses. I won’t tell you lies.
Wish me luck.
I have no diet plan in mind. What I do know is I need to eat less and move more. Easy, right?
Wrong.
I hold a nutrition certificate and I’m mid-way through my 200-hour yoga teacher training (halted due to the pandemic, naturally) so I’m not naive enough to think I’m big-boned or gasp at the prospect that my weight has increased even though I’ve eaten my required calories. I know for a fact I have gone above my calories and lost my sense of mindful eating.
I am facing issues with access — working from home (literally stuck to the desk due to consistent phone calls) reduces the level of activity I can do along with a popped facet joint — but, I plan to still move. As soon as the facet joint heals I will be adding more yoga into my day. Once I am back in the office, I am still limited but at least I can walk to and from work as well as add in physical yoga classes and walking (I love walking and yoga).
Diet-wise, I’m normally quite good with dieting however, my husband is the worst. He consistently asks me to taste everything he has or thinks he should give me the same sized portion, heck I’m a 5ft 2 woman and he’s a 6ft man. So, ultimately the hardest aspect will be the lifestyle change because that man loves to eat and our world is surrounded by food, eating out, enjoying new food experiences — well you get the drift.
I also suffer hugely from hunger pangs. The ones that make you feel like you’re about to suddenly vomit or, your throat has been cut. I’ve always been that way. I remember as a child waking up violently and running to the kitchen to grab a piece of bread (out of quickness) just to stop the throat pain and the hunger pangs and for fear of vomiting.
Satiation is something that is slow for me. I’m a slow eater but I can eat a lot. It’s as though my satiation response is slowed so I will eat and eat, and then whomp there it is! Suddenly I’m too full and feel utterly gross.
So ultimately I need to eat smaller amounts, fewer carbs (I’m sure they don’t help the hunger pangs or migraines), more protein, and lower-calorie foods overall. I’m worried about navigating my cravings for cheesecake and sugar — I’m not an avid chocolate fanatic, it’s mostly gooey desserts.
My current BMI is 27.
My health is at its key best when I’m around a BMI of 20–22. Issues such as PCOS, migraines, colitis, kidney function even all improve for me around that level. My pain levels from neuropathy and fibromyalgia also decrease, possibly as my hormones are under control (estrogen is a pain hormone so balancing that seems to help positively).
My mental health improves, my brain fog and fatigue improve and I become a version of me that’s happy, the one that I want to bring back for my sons and my husband.
So day one tomorrow — we have nothing adequate in the house and payday is Friday but, I am not about to let those ‘excuses’ stop me in my pursuit of happiness. I will take measurements for tomorrow’s post and update you on day one of the process.
If anyone else wants to join me in reclaiming their happiness and wellness, then come on, hop on in.
